3.21.2010

A Blog's Blog. Soma Syle.

I have just looked through some old blogs, and realized how consistent of a blogger I once was. Goal of the semester: to blog more. Hold me accountable, people! I think the one thing holding me back is I never feel like I have anything interesting enough to say that anyone would like to read. To prove myself wrong, I am taking the advice of a fellow blogger, Mike by name, and writing what he has dubbed a "Blog's Blog." Think of it as a free write, creative writing class style. Except on a keyboard, and not a notebook. Also, I'm sitting in a very comfortable green satellite chair, and not a rough desk chair. Hopefully some of this will be found interesting to a reader or two. :)

Also, I'm listing this... in order to organize AND (double whammy) look cool.

#1 - I really like lists. I write down lists a lot. Things to do, people to e-mail/call, cool ideas/places I just heard of, lyrics, etc. If anyone looks at my desk they'd think I'm a really super busy person, because taped to my desk frame I have about 34 post-it notes with To-Do's written on them. (Ok, yes, that was a bit of an exaggeration... I probably only have about 14.) Looks overwhelming, but really, it's quite organized, and can include notes as vague as "JOB. GET ONE." and "That Video Thing for TMC" to "Thank You note to Harold" or "Library Book!" (Aaaand, yup. These examples are real-life. I did write them/have them on my desk. I wouldn't lie about such things, believe me.) So really, I just walk by my desk and remember, "Oh yeah, I should finishing recording that new song with Jon Foreman..." or "Right! I have that frozen squirrel to take care of." (Not real-life examples.) It's a handy way to keep me POSTED. (Ha. Ha ha. I was talking about Post -It notes...)

#2 - Speaking of my desk, I also have a sweet page-a-day calendar this year. I normally don't use calendars to write down dates of anything (see #1), so I decided a boring "One-picture-to-stare-at-for-30-days" just won't cut for me in the exciting year of 2010. No, no! So I now have a calendar with a new picture to look at EVERY SINGLE DAY (except Saturdays and Sundays, which are combined. Acceptable, I figure.) It's modeled after the New York Times Bestselling Book, "1000 Places To See Before You Die," and gives an interesting fact/quote along with a picture of a different beautiful place in the world on each page. At first, as a traveler, I thought, "This is great! I'm gonna love it!" but now, after tearing off the page which had The Great Ocean Road in Australia, to see the sunny sands of St. Thomas, I've come to the "Are you kidding me" stage. Staring outside at about 2 feet of snow and then looking on my desk at palms and springs is not a combination to raise your spirits. I have a feeling that my relationship with this calendar has just turned south. (Ha. Ha ha. I was talking about places... maps... south... Man, I am so funny today.)

#3 - I'm listening to House of Heroes. Holy cow, these guys are versatile. Seriously. I'm impressed by their ability to somehow incorporate tight harmony, electronica, heavy guitar and heavy drums, and just about every tempo imaginable.

#4 - I just put laundry in the washer. I figured it was time after my suitcase was overflowing. Yes, my suitcase. I was using it as a hamper, because, (get this!)... my real hamper was still full of all the clean clothes from the last laundry trip that I was too lazy to fold and put back in my drawers. Ha! Wow... that's not a good sign. So my suitcase was overflowing. I put all those clothes in the washer about 30 minutes ago, and just went to see how soon they'll be done... and I never closed the door. So in another 30 minutes... I'll have to go check. Something tells me laundry is not my strength. Maybe I should start using Post-It's to remind me to do it.

#5 - I'm in a nasty habit of staying up way too late. It's to the point where I stay up until at least one or two even when I don't have to. Last night, I was chatting with Corey, a friend from Canada with a sick YouTube channel, until about 1:30, and tonight, I'm blogging. What is this, Amy?! Poor Christine, the ever-so-sleepy Nursing major roommate of mine, trying to rest, and here I am with my desk lamp on. I think she really is asleep. But I'm sure she'd sleep much better if she knew I too were snug and slumbering. Wait! Movement! I think she might be up!

In honor of her slumber, and my slumber, for that matter, I am closing this short little bloggette here. Amazingly, as I finished typing that sentence, the music in my headphones just stopped playing, as if knowing it's time to call it a night. I hope something I said was interesting to someone. And if it wasn't, at least check out that website for the "1000 Places"... It's one cool book!

Until next time,

Hakuna Matata.

3.15.2010

Motherhood

I've never really thought about being a mother.

Some girls loved dolls. My younger sister, for example, would carry her doll around everywhere she went. It was more than a toy to her, it was something she really did nurture and care about. In some ways, my stuffed animals were like that to me, when I was younger. I'd play with them in my room, we'd go to carnivals and zoo's for humans together... (Seriously. I was a rascal.) ... but to me, these guys were more like my friends than children. I never really got into the whole doll scene. I only liked Barbie because I could practice some wicked interior design in her Dream House.

As I got older, I started babysitting. For some reason though, it never clicked that "Hey! Someday, you could actually be doing this for your own kids. This could be your life." I regularly babysat three boys when home in the summer or on breaks, and had the TIME of my LIFE ... DAY with those goobers. They're a ton of fun, I really liked hanging with them. But that's kind of what it was for me. Hangin' out. [Is it strange that, to me, I'd rather try out some new nerf guns in the kitchen than go to a boring adult party? I never really thought about it.]

I watched a movie this weekend. It's called "The Family Stone." Has a bunch of big names in it. If I were to describe it in three words, I'd say: predictable, cute, and Hollywood. However, one thing that I walked away from this movie with was something I've never really experienced before... excitement for motherhood.

When the word 'motherhood' is brought up, I normally think of young kids. Elementary school, pre-school, diapers. There's the toys and games, the cowboys and robbers, the Barbie and American Girl... but as I get older, and as my sisters get older, and as my whole family grows older... there's this strange shift in dynamics. And I'm really diggin' it. The parents and the daughters really start to relate to each other, I guess. Similar humor develops, 'real world' problems are discussed and resolved, my opinion has a say as much as Mom's or Dad's. There's a letting go of the responsibilities that come with parenting, or 'motherhood,' and suddenly an ability for me, as a daughter, to step up and help out Mom or Dad with big important issues... not just setting the table.

As I watched "The Family Stone," I saw a family with many struggles, prejudices, boundaries to overcome, and as they were worked through, the cornerstone, Mom, slowly fades in role. It struck me. Here is one woman who has made such an impact on the lives of her children when they were kids, that now, in the present-day of the movie, she's able to turn back to them for help, correction and support. And she needed it.

Suddenly, I want that.

I want to raise a bunch of kids, letting them develop their own styles and attitudes and opinions. I want Christmas at my house in 40 years to be noisy. With laughter and traditions and "remember when's." I want to laugh at their stories of school pranks, embrace their weeping bodies, whispering comfort, and say 'Clean your room' before the guests come over. I want to set for them the greatest example of what a woman should be, how she should act, what she should say, how she should care. I want to nurture.

It's like that instinct that should have kicked in at age 2 with "Susie-Squirts-a-Lot" is now up and at 'em. I am PUMPED for a family!
It's gonna be awesome.



That said, I sure can wait. A good long time, actually.
I have a lot to do before any of these shenanigans get started. And a great deal to mature, change, grow.... especially if I'm going to be the best mother in the world.